You are here because you are either expecting or you are a new mom. You are looking for information and knowledge and details and solutions and hacks. You are thrown into a territory where you have not been before and you are looking around to grasp any new piece of information.
When I was pregnant and the news went around, immediately there was information all around me. Wanted and unwanted. Mostly unwanted. Like 90% unwanted.
Like seriously, No Mrs. Rasheeda I do not want to know how many hours in labour you were and how much you pooped during delivery.
You see people have this tendency to share with you advises and their own “do’s and dont’s” from their experience. That is exactly what happened with me. Whoever I met and found that I was pregnant had something to share with me. For the first few months it stayed between friends and family.
But as soon as the bump was visible, the advises came from strangers. Anyone I met had something of their own. Even unmarried (virgin) people had random pieces of shit to say.
And then of course, there was the internet. Every blog, every website had so much to give me that I found myself drooling with information whenever I could. I wanted to be prepared for everything that was to come.
By the time I was near my due date I had SO MANY DIFFERENT PIECES OF INFORMATION that my mind felt like holding a huge trash can. I mean seriously. Each information had differences of opinions.
Exhibit A :
There was one cousin who said eat lots of apple, it will be good for the baby while another one said do not eat apples, it will make the baby’s color dark.
Exhibit B :
My mom in law said you need to eat for the two. Eat two plates. Drink 2 glasses of milk. Eat, eat and eat, whether it was pasta or pizza or rice. While the internet told me to eat for myself but increase my intake of healthy fruits and veggies and things that provide more nutrition.
Exhibit C :
The aunts told me not to do ANY big movements that literally included sitting down while the internet was oozing with exercises for mom including squats.
Exhibit D :
My mom in law and aunts told me my milk was not enough for the baby and needed powdered milk while the doctor said do not give your baby powder milk.
When my little one was born, these advises increased by four folds (boooo yaaaa…).
Do you see the problem here? Everyone had different opinions and all they were doing was shoving their opinions, their experiences and their personal hacks on me.
For the first 4 months with my little one, I was doing everything others were telling me. They told me to feed the baby bottles, I did. They told me to breastfeed when he already had a bottle, I did. They told me to give him water every few hours, I did.
My little one became fussy, cried a lot and became distant from me. That is when I learned my golden lesson as a mother –
TRUST YOUR OWN MOTHER INSTINCT.
For 9 fucking months, you held this baby inside you. You were literally his home. He heard you talk, he smelled you and heard each of your heart beats. You felt him grow every second, you felt each of his kicks, you cared for him even when he was not born.
HOW THE FUCK COULD ANYONE ELSE KNOW HIM BETTER THAN YOU.
So after 4 months of ignoring my own instincts, I decided it was time I did what my mother instinct told me. Soon as I trusted myself, I found that I could decipher every move of my child. I knew when he would sleep, when he would wake up, when he needed a burp, when he was about to vomit, when his burp was stuck etc.
My little one became exclusive breastfeeder. He became calm and he was happy. He got attached to me and became comfortable with me, and I with him.
So mommies, no matter that the hell everyone tells you, follow the golden rule :
TRUST YOUR OWN MOTHER INSTINCT BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR YOUR CHILD.